Homer's Phobia Quotes
Moe: Cheer up, Homer. You still got that other kid, Lisa. We'll take her hunting and make her into a man.
Homer: She'll never go. She's a vegetarian.
Moe: Oh my god, Homer, you and Marge aren't really cousins, are you?
Homer: Son, maybe it’s the concussion talking, but any way you choose to live your life is okay with me.
Bart: Huh?
Lisa: [whispers] He thinks you’re gay.
Bart: He thinks I’m gay?!
Marge: You feel softer Homie.
Homer: I've been tenderized!
John: Uh oh. Something’s gonna die.
Homer: Butt out, Buttinsky. What would you know about hunting?
John: I know this much: I wouldn’t wear that hideous hat. Here, take this one. It was worn by Yale Summers in Daktari.
Homer: Hang on to it, Toy-Boy! You might need it when it starts raining naked ladies!
Moe: Where you been, Homer? The entire steel industry is gay. Eh, aerospace, too, and the railroads. And you know what else? Broadway.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007 John: ...and Helen Lovejoy, sure, she looks blonde, but I’ve heard cuffs and collar don’t match, if you get my drift.
Marge: I don’t, but I loved hearing it!
John: Homer, what have you got against gays?
Homer: You know! It’s not... usual. If there was a law, it’d be against it!
Marge: Oh, Homer, please! You’re embarrassing yourself.
Homer: No, I’m not, Marge! They’re embarrassing me. They’re embarrassing America! They turned the Navy into a floating joke. They ruined all our best names like Bruce, and Lance, and Julian. Those were the toughest names we had! Now they’re just, uh...
John: Queer?
Homer: Yeah, and that’s another thing! I resent you people using that word. That’s our word for making fun of you! We need it! Well, I’m taking back our word, and I’m taking back my son!
Homer: Marge, the boy was wearing a Hawaiian shirt!
Marge: So?
Homer: There’s only two kind of guys who wear those shirts: gay guys and big, fat party animals, and Bart doesn’t look like a big, fat party animal to me!
Marge: So, if you wore a Hawaiian shirt, it wouldn’t be gay?
Homer: Right! Thank you.
Smithers: John...
John: Oh, Waylon. I’d like you to meet the Simpsons.
Smithers: I know the Simpsons. [flatly] So this is your "sick mother?"
John: Don’t do this to me, Waylon...
Homer: That John is the greatest guy in the world. We've gotta have him and his wife over for drinks sometime.
Marge: Hmm, I don’t think he’s married, Homer.
Homer: Oh, a swinging bachelor, eh? Well, there’s lots of foxy ladies out there.
Marge: Homer, didn’t John seem a little… festive to you?
Homer: Couldn’t agree more, happy as a clam.
Marge: He prefers the company of men.
Homer: Who doesn’t?
Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a homo...
Homer: Right...
Marge: ...sexual.