King Size Homer Quotes
Arnie: [On radio] Arnie Pie in the sky with the morning commute. Traffic this morning is as bad as it gets. Due to a fire at the Army testing lab, a bunch of escaped infected monkeys are roaming the expressway. Despite the sweltering heat, don't unroll your windows, 'cause those monkeys seem confused and irritable.
Homer: Hee hee hee. I pity those poor suckers on the freeway. Gas brake honk. Gas brake honk. Honk honk punch. Gas gas gas.
Lisa: I think it's ironic that dad saved the day while a slimmer man would have fallen to his doom.
Bart: And I think it's ironic that for once dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas-
Marge: Bart!
Homer: Bart and Lisa have to go to school while I get to stay home, na na na na na!
Lisa: I like school!
Homer: Well, why don't you live in it then?
Lisa: I would if I could!
Bart: Not me sister, when I grow up I'm gonna be a lardo on workman's comp just like Dad.
Lisa: Mom, aren't you going to step in and stop this?
Marge: Usually, your father's crackpot schemes fail once he sees something good on TV. But this season...
Homer: [Excited] The mail, the mail is here. [Reading] Oooh, an urgent plea from Edward James Olmos. "Lisa Simpson - can you afford to miss another issue of the Utne Reader?" Heh heh heh, kids. Huh? "Free sample of fabric softener"...woo hoo!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 23rd, 2007Homer: [after drying his "fat guy" hat using the fabric softener sample] Mmm... I can feel three kinds of softness.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 23rd, 2007 Talking Pig: you can do it old boy!
Homer: yes i can! [stops & eats the Pig's arm]
Talking Pig: yes, yes! that's the spirit!
Ralph: [to Lisa on the schoolbus]] I heard your father walked into a restaurant and ate all the food in the restaurant and they had to close down the restaurant.
Lisa: Hey, my father may be a little overweight, but he isn't some sort of food crazed maniac!
[Homer is seen through the bus window driving a speeding ice-cream truck in his muumuu.]
Homer: [Driving past in the hijacked ice cream van, sucking on an ice cream cone] Oh, that's raspberry!