Lisa's Date with Density Quotes
Homer: One doughnut with sprinkles, please.
[He presents Apu with a doughnut covered with candy.]
Apu: A Mounds bar is not a sprinkle. A twizzler is not a sprinkle. A Jolly Rancher is not a sprinkle, sir. Perhaps in Shangri-La they are, but not here.
Skinner: [while searching each child's locker for Superintendent Chalmers' missing hood ornament] Oh, you think this stolen "H" is a laugh riot, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something that's not so funny. Right now, Superintendent Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl!
[The kids all break out into laughter.]
Skinner: I guess it is a little funny [chuckles].
Marge: Well most women will tell you that you're a fool to think you can change a man, but those women are quitters!
Lisa: What?
Marge: When I first met your father, he was loud, crude, and piggish. But I worked hard on him, and now he's a whole new person.
Lisa: Mom...?
Marge: He's a whole new person, Lisa.
Homer: [runs down the stairs after hearing gunshots] Hey, who shot my auto-dialer! [notices the police right behind him] I mean, Marge's auto-dialer [sheepishly shoves the bullet-riddled auto-dialer to the side].
Wiggum: See you in court, Simpson! [Wiggum hands Homer a summons] Oh, and, uh, bring that evidence with ya. Otherwise, I have no case and you go scott-free.
Wiggum: Oh, that's an auto-dialer. This bird was using it to pull a telemarketing scam. But instead, he's gonna rot in the slammer for the next twenty years. Bread and water, icy showers, guards whompin' your ass around the clock, and the only way out... is suicide.
• Rating 4.7 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007 Dolph: Oh, man! You kissed a girl!
Jimbo: That is so gay!