Million Dollar Abie Quotes
Lisa: Grampa, I think you should give up the bullfighting.
Abe: Forget it! I'd look pretty stupid in this outfit walking around fighting oysters.
Homer (answers phone): Y'ello. (gasps) You want my opinion on current movies?! Well, first of all, they're all perfect. Also, when's the Cap'n Crunch movie coming out? And will it be "R" or "Hard R"?
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007Abe: Euthanasia?! No way! I want to die with dignity. (longingly) Like slipping in the shower and then they find me two weeks later, swollen up so bad, they don't know if I'm man or sofa.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007 Lisa: It's so strange that the commissioner [of football] didn't show up.
Homer: Maybe he's thinking of a new shape for the football.
Chief Wiggum: By the shores of Gitche Gumee / By the shining Big Sea Water / Stood the Wiggum of Nokomis...I'm sorry, did I just say "Wiggum"? I...I meant "wigwam." Yeah, let me, uh, let me start again. (audience groans)
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007Abe Simpson: If I knock him out, I'll be a hero! And people will listen to my loose-brained nonsense!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007 Marge: Homie, you've been down here for a week. I really think you need...(gasps)...what the Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise?!
Homer: Marge, meet pro football's newest team--the Springfield Meltdowns! Plus I designed a state-of-the-art stadium. We'll fund it with corporate naming rights. It's the Duff Beer Krustyburger Buzz Cola Costington's Department Store Kiwk-E-Mart Stupid Flanders Park! So...Homer do good?
Marge (embraces Homer): Homer do great! (kisses) Eh, maybe Homer brush teeth first?
Homer (rolls eyes and groans): Ohh......
Homer: I'll show you all. I'm going to spearhead the hell out of this expansion bid!
(Marge, Bart and Lisa laughs at Homer)
Maggie (babbling like a baby, with subtitles): Bald Mommy is sure to fail.
announcer: Next on Fox, Carmen Electra stars in Boobs, about a class of remedial reading students and their teacher who wants to be taken seriously.
Homer (disappointed): Awww, I thought it was about her boobs.
