Realty Bites Quotes
Homer: Wow, honey. You sold a house and got rid of the Flanders. What's for dinner?
Ned Flanders: Well, neighboreenos, I guess this is good-bye. Oh, I better make this quick, or I'm gonna start blubbering like a baby.
Homer: [sarcastically and with a monotone voice] Yeah, me too. Let me know if you need any help.
Ned Flanders: Now that you mention it, we could use--
Homer: [monotone] It was just an expression.
Marge: The first house I have to show you is, um... a handyman's dream. [smiles half-heartedly and lets out an "Mm-hmm"] Because it's so dilapidated. [groans]
Ned Flanders: Well, nothing's perfect. I sure hate to make you come out here and not buy a house.
Maude Flanders: Now, slow down, Neddie. The home buyer's course said always look inside the house before buying.
(Front wall of the main part of the house falls down to reveal that this is where Lenny Leonard lives. The interior is also dilapidated and is mostly empty)
Marge: Well, there it is.
Lenny: Please don't tell anyone how I live.
Marge: Excuse me, Mr. Szyslak. Have you ever considered selling your home?
Moe: What? No. Why? What? Why? What have you heard? Are you implying I'm in some sort of financial trouble?
Marge: No.
Moe: Well, I am. Let me have that card.
Lionel Hutz: Welcome to the big leagues, Marge. There's over 50 years of real estate experience right in this room. And 42 of those years are Gil's!
Gil: Marge, it's a real pleasure. You got any leads? I need some leads. Please, help me.
Lionel Hutz: That's enough, Gil. Don't drag her down with you.
Moe: Gee, this hotrod is souped up six ways from Sunday. Never had you figured for a gearhead, Homer.
Homer: Oh, yeah. I'm a real expert.
Moe: [opens hood] What is that, a six-barrel holleykauf?
Homer: You betcha.
Moe: Pedel block intakes?
Homer: Nothin' but.
Moe: Miya half lifters?
Homer: Oh, yeah.
Moe: I made that last one up.
Homer: I see.