The Canine Mutiny Quotes
Milhouse: Wow Bart, Laddie's great, way better than your old dog
Bart: Really? I guess I was the only one that loved him
Milhouse: You got that right, remember the time he ate me goldfish and you lied to me and said I never had a goldfish? Then why'd I have the bowl Bart? Why. Did I Have. The Bowl??
Officer Lou (sniffs bag of something Laddie found on blind man): Marijuana.
Chief Wiggum: Well, I guess he didn't like you after all. He just smelled your narcotics. Book him, boys.
Office Eddie: Hold on, Chief. It might be medicinal.
blind man: Uh...yeah, m-medicinal. I...without it, I could, uh...go even...blinder. Right?
Bart (pleadingly): I miss him so much, and I know you like him, but I like him too and he was mine first, and I know I don't deserve him, but...
blind man: So what this comes down to is, you want a blind man to give up his only companion?
Bart: Yes, please.
Bart: So, that's my plan. I'm gonna break in to the blind man's yard and swipe the dog.
Lisa (disapprovingly): Bart, that is a new low.
Bart: Hey, I'm not saying it's going to be a dance around the maypole.
Lisa (arms crossed): Well, I won't tell Mom and Dad, but only because I want the dog back. Just try not to freak out the blind man.
Bart: I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try.
Homer: Well, crying isn't going to bring him back...unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart (determinedly): You're right. I'll do it. (goes out to find dog)
Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.
Marge: Aww, Maggie, you got oatmeal all over. Homie, would you clean her off?
Homer: Can do. (puts Maggie on the floor) Laddie! (whistling) Come here, boy! Who wants to lick a messy baby?
Lisa: Hey, this park is great! How come we never take Santa's Little Helper here?
Homer: Crowds give him gas.
Bart (referring to Laddie): He's trained to do all sorts of stuff. He can herd sheep, and perform CPR.
Marge (reading owner's manual for Laddie): "Some call it the dog that never sleeps, though it actually does...while jogging."
Homer: Geez, that dog has more education than I do. He's some kind of superdog!
Homer (walking by absentmindedly): Hi, Marge. Hi, Santa's Little Helper. Hi, kid...hey, that's not Santa's Little Helper!
Marge: That's Laddie. Bart says he won him at a church carnival two towns over.
Lisa (with slight suspicion): In a truth-telling contest, right, Bart?
Bart: Uh, to the best of my recollection, yes.
Homer: Wow, I got to start going to church.
Bart: Put it all on my credit card, my good man.
Comic Book Guy (examining card): Oh...pardon me, Santos--if that is your real name, Bart Simpson--but your phony credit card is no good here. Now make like my pants and split. (points finger at door)