The Joy of Sect Quotes
Homer: I'm glad I'm back, because the moment that sweet, sweet beer hit my tongue, I was born again!
(Movementarian man and woman gasp)
Rev. Lovejoy: Hallelujah!
Homer: Now I can show all of you what I've come to realize. The reason we're not allowed in the forbidden barn is because there is no intergalactic spaceship. He's taken our money just so he can... [opens the barn doors to reveal a flying saucer] ...build one hell of a space ship!
(Spaceship takes off)
Leader's voice: Homer, your meddling has destroyed mankind's last chance for salvation!
Homer: Whoops...
Mr. Burns: You see me as a god, right, Smithers?
Smithers: Absolutely, sir.
Mr. Burns: You'd kneel before me?
Smithers: Boy, would I!
Mr. Burns: Yes. Uh, then I'll form my own religion with its own symbol. We'll use this special K. [refers to the breakfast cereal of the same name; the K he draws is a replica of the logo on the cereal box]
Smithers: I believe that's already a breakfast cereal, sir.
Mr. Burns: And people worship it?
Smithers: In a way.
Marge: You what?
Homer: I've joined the Movementarians. And so have all of you.
Marge: We what?
Homer: All I had to give them was our life savings, the deed to the house, and a commitment of 10 trillion years of labor.
Marge: I can't go along with this, Homer!
Homer: Marge, when I join an underground cult, I expect a little support from my family.
Lisa: Dad, do you think you might have been brainwashed?
Homer: I have not been brainwashed... Kill the Girl. Kill the Girl [reaches hands out slowly, trying to grab her]
Marge: Homer!
Homer: What? What did I say?
Movie narrator: Once we collect enough money for fuel, our leader will throw open the doors of the forbidden barn where we will all board our intergalactic vehicle-- rows one through 30 first. Upon our arrival, we will begin our new, perfect lives on Blisstonia, well-known for its high levels of bliss.
Carl: Hey, I don't know about you, but they're not exactly winning me over with these lousy production values here. I'm gonna slip out. [stands up, spotlight is shone on him]
Man on speaker: Uh, you're free to leave whenever you want, but would you mind telling us why?
Carl: Oh, I just didn't, uh-- I didn't think, um-- Oh, it's-- it's pretty good.
Movementarian woman: A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, Blisstonia.
Homer: Hmm. makes sense.
Movementarian woman: We're having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this weekend.
Homer: How much is this free resort weekend?
Movementarian man: It's free.
Homer: And when is this weekend?
Movementarian man: It's this weekend.
Homer: Uh-huh. And how much does it cost?
Movementarian man: Um, it's free.
Homer: I see. And when is it?
Movementarian man: It's this weekend.
Homer: And what are you charging for this free weekend?
Bart: Come on, Dad, the team's arriving!
Homer: [being pulled away by Bart] It's free, right?