The Last Temptation of Krust Quotes
Bart: Dad!
Homer: Whoops! Sorry, Son. I didn't know you, Jay Leno and a monkey were bathing a clown.
Krusty: Well, they are, so make with the loofah or get out.
Krusty: Where is that stinkin' monkey?
(Krusty's assistant monkey rollerskates in)
Krusty: It's about time. Give me those reviews. "Last night's comedy benefit delivered wall-to-wall laughs without exception." Phew. "The only exception was the embarrassingly dated humor of Springfield's green-haired, red-nosed hack-- [flips pages] Yeah, yeah, yeah, "Krusty the Clown." No!
Sideshow Mel: They say any publicity is good publicity.
Krusty: You, sir, are an idiot.
(monkey chitters, offers a banana)
Krusty: Aw, that's your answer to everything! Look at my life. I'm talking to a monkey and a-- I don't know what the hell you are.
Sideshow Mel: You can be so cruel when you're sober.
Krusty: Well, I'll fix that. I'm goin' on the bender to end all benders.
Janeane Garofalo: [sighs] I got my period today.
Marge: [spits out the wine she was drinking] Oh, good Lord.
Janeane Garofalo: Plus, I got this new boyfriend. And you know how it is when you're kissing a guy with a tongue stud.
(Laughter)
Homer: [laughing and pounding his fist on the table] Yes! Yeah! Oh, god, yes! [head hits table]
Krusty: Uh-huh. Charity, eh? What's my cut? Nothing? I make more than that takin' a "schwitz."
Jay Leno: He seems reluctant.
Bart: Tell him it will count towards his community service.
Krusty: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. All right, I'll do it. [groans] Boy, swipe one pair of Haggar slacks and you're payin' for it the rest of your life.