There's Something About Marrying Quotes
Bart: Hey Dad, remember how you said if I used a chainsaw unsupervised I'd hurt myself? Well, you were wrong. I hurt someone else.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007Homer: It's every parent's worst nightmare: They've stolen a car and
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007Marge: I'm proud of you, Homer. You have given a chance for everyone to express love in its most purest form—a binding legal contract.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007Patty: Selma, we'll always be there for each other. I don't know about Marge, though. If she doesn't show up today, I have no "non-identical sister!"
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007Kent Brockman (on Smartline): Homer, have we started down a slippery slope to which marriage becomes so meaningless that anyone can marry any-thing?
Homer: Oh, Kent, not anything. It has to exist...or does it?
Rev. Lovejoy: Call me old fashioned, but I believe marriage is described in the Bible!
Homer: If you love the Bible so much, why don't you marry it? In fact, I now pronounce you and the Bible man and wife. And you're the wife! Ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You owe me two hundred bucks.
Lovejoy: Homer, your impulsive marriages are going to lead to a lot of divorces.
Homer: Which will lead to a lot more impulsive marriages, putting more green in the blue, the blue being my pants!
Krusty: I want to clear up a misconception about the Wha-Cha-Ma-Carcass Sandwich. I used non-diseased meat from diseased animals! Everyone does it!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007Homer: And do you Julio take Thad to be your lawfully wedded life partner, in Massachusetts and Vermont, maybe Canada, stay out of Texas, for as long as you both are gay?
Julio: (lovingly) I do.
Homer: Who's next? Adam and Steve? Or Madame and Eve?
Marge: Homer, you married every gay couple in town.
Homer: Hey, what can I say? I love love.
Bart: I guess now you have to wait for some other guys to turn.
Homer: Hmmmm. Where's Lenny and Carl?
Marge: Homer, don't you push them! They have to work it out for themselves.
Mayor Quimby: (in gay-pride video) Springfield, a place where anyone can marry, even dudes. We're just off Route 202. Do not take the Jefferson Avenue exit. For God's sake, do not take that exit!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007Bart: Is this one of those reality deals where a guy gets a million bucks for marrying Aunt Patty but they have to honeymoon in a box full of snakes?
Homer: Son, that's the stupidest idea I ever heard... and I know exactly who would pay top dollar for it!
(picks up phone and dials)
Phone: You've reached FOX. If you're pitching a show where gold-digging skanks get what's coming to them, press 1. If you're pitching a rip-off of another network's reality show, press 2. Please stay on the line - your half-baked ideas are all we've got.