The Simpsons Quotes (Page 10)

Homer J. Simpson

Bart: So, Mr. Burns, you're saying my dad has gone insane, and thinks he's a god, and broken off all contact with the outside world?
Smithers: I told you Simpson was a poor choice, sir.
Mr. Burns: You know, Smithers, "I told you so" has a brother. His name is, "Shut the hell up"!

  • Rating 4.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Comic Book Guy: What in the name of Steve Ditko?!

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Selma: MacGyver's back and not just at 2:00 am on the USA Network!

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Lenny: Ya know Moe, that sign is powered by non-American workers.
Moe: So? The beer is German and the TV is Japanese.
Carl: You got anything here made in America?
Moe (angrily gets out shotgun): This! (cocks the gun, but the back explodes in his face) Oh God! Misfire!

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


# Lenny (sitting in the back row of the plant's auditorium): I wouldn't sit too close if I were you. It's bad for your eyes. (camera pulls out, revealing a vat of nuclear waste behind Lenny, which glows through his skeleton)

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007



Homer: This isn't India! Where's the University of Notre Dame and the Indy 500 and Wrigley Field and Dodger Dogs?!
Indian Woman: You ignorant American! You have confused India with Indiana, Indiana with Illinois, and the Cubs with the Dodgers!
Homer: I took a job on the other side of the world?! (groans as the camera pulls to a satellite's view of India) I hate this subcontinent!

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Lisa: Grampa, I think you should give up the bullfighting.
Abe: Forget it! I'd look pretty stupid in this outfit walking around fighting oysters.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Homer (answers phone): Y'ello. (gasps) You want my opinion on current movies?! Well, first of all, they're all perfect. Also, when's the Cap'n Crunch movie coming out? And will it be "R" or "Hard R"?

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Abe: Euthanasia?! No way! I want to die with dignity. (longingly) Like slipping in the shower and then they find me two weeks later, swollen up so bad, they don't know if I'm man or sofa.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Lisa: It's so strange that the commissioner [of football] didn't show up.
Homer: Maybe he's thinking of a new shape for the football.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


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