The Simpsons Quotes (Page 2)
Homer: Ohh a thermos, with 7 cups of coffee still inside! [countdown timer goes down to 6] No wait, 6 cups.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007 Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need those schematics! [Jack is engaged in a gun battle]
Bart: Who is this?
Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer, who the hell are you?
Bart: I'm, uh..... Ahmed Adudi. (I made a doodie)
Jack: Chloe, do we know anyone named Ahmed Adudi?
Chloe O'Brian: Ahmed Adudi, wealthy Saudi financier, went missing in Afghanistan in the late 90s.
Jack Bauer: Really?
Chloe O'Brian: No, it's a joke name. You're being set up, Jack.
Jack Bauer: DAMMIT! [Scene change; Bart is laughing out loud]
Bart: Lisa, are you a secure line?
Lisa: I am. You're using a Bluetooth, the most vulnerable communications device known to man!
Bart: But it looks so cool! Listen, there's a mole inside CTU.
Lisa: A MOLE?
Bart: Yes, now I don't have much time so I'm just gonna come out and say his name. So get ready to know his name. His name is the following. M- [Martin knocks Bart unconscious with a French horn and drags him away singing Skip to my Lou]
Marge: If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they would have a stomach full of pocket garbage!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007 Homer: Apu, I'm returning a yogurt I wasn't completely satisfied with.
Apu: [opens the bag which lets out a stench, he immediatly closes the bag] OH MY GOD! If a dead fish and a homeless person had a baby, and the baby puked, and the dog ate the puke, this smells like the rear end of that dog! I'll give you any yogurt in the store just take that thing with you when you go!
Announcer/Kiefer Sutherland: The following takes place between 2:34 PM and 3:04 PM. [pause] Or, maybe it's AM. Whichever one is the morning one. [pause] It's not that one.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007Announcer/Kiefer Sutherland: Previously on 24... I mean The Simpsons
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007 Marge: [lost in the corn maze] Maybe we should split up.
Homer: Split up? Marge, no, we can fix this marriage!
Marge: No, no, I didn't mean--
Homer: Fine, you want out? Then go, I can make it on my own! Before I met you, I had friends and dreams!
Marge: I was talking about--
Homer: Oh, please take me back! [sobbing] The dating scene is a nightmare! I'm begging you!
Marge: I just meant we should split up to get out of this corn maze.
Homer: Deep down, I-- I guess I knew that.
Marge: Now, there must be a way out.
Homer: Of our marriage? I don't want to live! [runs away screaming; offscreen] Hey, this maze is made of corn.
Homer: How come things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007 Marge: You should've seen the faces of your children when they caught you stealing! Kids, get in here and show your father the faces!
[Bart, Lisa and Maggie enter the kitchen with their sad faces]
Homer: [sobbing] Make them stop!
Marge: You make them stop by doing the right thing!
