The Simpsons Quotes (Page 3)
Moe: Wait, wait, wait! What about Apu? [A cat enters the room]
Apu's voice: Apu is dead! I was reincarnated as this cat! [Homer and Moe gasp. Then Apu enters the room as well]
Apu: [laughing] Wow, you have just been Apu'd!
Kent Brockman: While our brave firemen recuperate, Springfield is a town without a fire department -- which is bad news for people like this man. [camera pans out to show man trapped in a burning house] Sir! How does it feel knowing that no one is coming to save you?
Man: Not as bad as knowing that somewhere gays are marrying each other! That's the real emergency, Kent.
Homer: Okay, here's the solution. I want you kids to lock the bedroom from the outside so I can't get out and perpetrate my nocturnal mischief.
Bart: Why don't you just stop taking the pills you hothead?
Homer: Because I'm filled with stress! [smacks him on the back of the head and moans] I've got three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?!
Homer: What are you, a travel agent? 'Cause you're sending me on a guilt trip.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007 Ghost Homer: You want to have ghost sex?
Ghost Marge: I keep telling you, ghost sex is nothing! It's worse than nothing!
Ghost Homer: Then why were you moaning last time?
Ghost Marge: Because I'm a GHOST! Whooooo!
Ghost Homer: AAAAHH! A ghost! [flies away from Marge]
Moe: Well, I'm just the bartender here, but it seems to me, you could win Lisa back by appealing to her sense of reason, and you can win your mom back by appealing to her feelings.
Bart: Gee, Moe, you give great advice!
Homer: Yeah, what have you done with the real Moe?
Bart: Jumping Johnnycakes! Those dames are cheesed.
Homer: Son, I'll never understand women if I live to be 40.
Bart: Big if.
Homer: You said it. Enjoy me while I last!
(both laughs)
Bart: Want to go slam a few beers?
Homer: Want to watch me?
Bart: You know it.
Lisa (angrily): You can't give me a yellow card! You're my father!
Homer: When I put on these shorts, I'm not your father anymore, and judging by how tight they are, I'm never going to be anyone else's either.
Helen Lovejoy (angry at Referee Homer's foul call): You are so blind, even Jesus couldn't heal you!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007Homer: So...I thought it went real well. Until I swallowed the whistle.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007
