The Simpsons Quotes (Page 87)
Homer: [angry] Mr. West, you said there was a a job for me.
Adam West: There was. When I called you, [camera zooms in dramatically] forty five minutes ago!
Barney: so long Superman, you're secret identity is safe with me.
[After the Mr. Plow commercial has aired...]
Homer: And now we play the waiting game!
[several seconds pass...]
Homer: Ah, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!
Homer: Adam West! Look, kids! Batman!
Lisa: Dad, that's not Batman!
Adam West: Of course I'm Batman. See? *Pulls out a photo* Here's a picture of me with Robin.
Bart: Who the hell's Robin?
Adam West: Oh, I guess you're only familiar with the new Batman movies. Michelle Pfeiffer...ha...the only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Merriwether or Eartha Kitt. And I didn't need a molded plastic suit to improve my physique *Taps chest* Pure West. and how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi? (he starts dancing the Bat-tussi)
Homer: Call Mr. Plow that's my name. That name again is Mr. Plow.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 16th, 2007 Insurer: This place Moe's you were at, just before the accident...this is a business of some kind?
Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar...but what else is open at night?
Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain: Hehe! I would've never thought of that!
Laura: Hello. I'm looking for Ms. Tinkle, first name, Ivana?
Moe: Wait a sec. Ivana Tinkle! Everyone put down your glasses! Ivana Tinkle!
Bart: [calling Moe's Tavern] I'm looking for Amanda, last name Huggenkiss?
Moe: Yeah, just a sec. I'll check. [calling out to the patrons] Amanda Hugginkiss? Hey, I'm lookin' for Amanda Hugginkiss. Why can't I find Amanda Hugginkiss?
[The patrons laugh.]
Barney: Maybe your standards are too high!
Moe: [to phone] You little S.O.B. Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!
Bart: My name is Jimbo Jones and I live on 742 Evergreen Terrace.
Moe: Ha! Big mistake, pal!
Homer: Sorry Marge, this is my quest! I'm like that guy. That Spanish guy. You know, he fought the windmills.
Marge: Don Quixote?
Homer: No, whats-his-name. The Man of La Mancha.
Marge: Don Quixote.
Homer: No!
Marge: I really think that was the character's name, Don Quixote.
Homer: Fine, I'll look it up [gets a book of the shelf]
Marge: Well, who was it?
Homer: Never mind.
Homer: [drunk] So I sez "Yeah? If you want that money, come and find it, 'cuz I don' know where it is, ya baloney!" You make me wanna retch! [falls asleep]
• Vote for this Quote! • July 16th, 2007Homer: You see, son, a woman is a lot like... err... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds... they... make ice... uhhh... oh! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! [drains his beer] But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman! [runs to the fridge]
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 16th, 2007