The Simpsons Quotes (Page 90)
[Some burning wreckage from Homer's house blows onto Ned's and the roof begins to burn.]
Homer: Hey, Flanders is a regular Charlie Church and God didn't save his house!
[A rain cloud appears above the fire in Neds house, puts it out, and then changes to a beautiful rainbow]
Homer: D'oh!
God: You know, sometimes I'd rather just sit back and watch football. [pauses] Does St. Louis still have a team?
Homer: No, they moved to Phoenix.
God: Oh, right.
Homer: Lord, I have to ask you something: What's the meaning of life?
God: Oh Homer, I can't tell you that! You'll find out when you die.
Homer: But I can't wait that long!
God: You can't wait six months?
Homer: [moaning] No. Tell me now.
God: Well alright then. The meaning of life is- [cut off by the credits]
Ned: Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.
Rev. Lovejoy: No, but He was working in the hearts of your friends and neighbors when they came to your aid, be they Christian, [points to Ned] Jew, [points to Krusty] or [points to Apu] ...miscellaneous.
Apu: [coldly] Hindu. There are 700 million of us.
Rev. Lovejoy: [patronizing smile] Aw, that's super.
Marge: Homer, don't make me chose between my man and my God, because you just can't win.
Homer: There you are. Always taking someone else's side. Flanders, the water department, God...
Homer: Kids, let me tell you about another so-called "wicked" guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas, and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was... I forget. But the point is... well, I forget that too. Marge, you know who I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 16th, 2007Homer: Ahh! Fire! Wait, the song! [singing] Oh, when the fire starts to burn, there's a lesson you must learn. Something something, then you'll see...you'll avoid catastrophe. [pauses] D'oh!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 16th, 2007Todd Flanders: Dad, the heathen's getting away!
• Rating 1.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 16th, 2007 Homer: What's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't God everywhere?
Bart: Amen, brother!
Homer: And don't you think the almighty has better things to do than wonder where one guy spends one measly hour of his week?
Bart: Tell it, daddy!
Homer: And what if we've picked the wrong religion? Every week we're just making God madder and madder!
Bart: [claps, waves arms] Testify!
Homer: [snugly wrapped in bed] Ah, I'm just a big toasty cinnamon bun. I never wanna leave this bed. [pauses] Uh-oh. I gotta take a whizz. Think Homer, think. Think think think! Aw, I better get up.
Homer: [in the bathroom] I'm whizzin' with the door open, and I love it!