The Simpsons Quotes (Page 91)
Bart Simpson: [Playing with the flying mechanism after the show] Hey, look at me - I'm Blanche DuBois!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 16th, 2007 [At the dinner table...]
Homer: Marge, salt me!
Marge: (with a deep Southern accent.) Here you are, Homah.
Homer: What the...why are you talking like that?
Marge: The play's tomorrow night, and Ah've got to stay in charactah!
Lisa: (also with Southern accent) Mom, would it help if Ah talked like this, too?
Marge: It might!
Bart: (with a c**kney accent) And I'll talk loike this! Bob's yer uncle, mate!
Marge: That really doesn't help, Baht.
Lisa: (to Homer) Big Daddy, would y'all mind passin' me a li'l ol' biscuit?
Bart: Can I slog off school tomorrow? Got a pain in me gulliver!
Homer: I'm living in a cookoo clock!
Llewelyn Sinclair: I am not an easy man to work for. While directing Hats Off to Chanukkah, I reduced more than one cast member to tears. Did I expect too much from fourth graders? The review "Play enjoyed by ALL"... [holds up an elementary school newspaper with this headline] ...speaks for itself.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 16th, 2007 [In the play, Marge is suspended in midair and is swooping around the stage.]
Bart: Cool! She can fly!
Lisa: I think it's supposed to symbolize her descent into madness.
Bart: Krusty, they fed us gruel, forced us to make wallets for export, and one of the campers was eaten by a bear!
Krusty: Oh my god!!!
Bart: Well, actually, the bear just ate his hat.
Krusty: Was it a nice hat?
Bart: Oh yeah.
Krusty: Oh my god!!!
Bart: [while being interviewed live by Kent Brockman]I just want everyone to know that this was a relly crappy camp. Can I say "crappy" on TV?
Kent Brockman: Yes, on this network you can.
Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 16th, 2007Bart: I've been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat from his Krusty brand vitamins, my Krusty calculator didn't have a seven or an eight, and Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions. But this time, he's gone too far!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 16th, 2007 [in her letter home from camp] Our arts and crafts center is, in actuality, a Dickensian work house.
Jimbo: [at the arts and crafts center] Come on, wimps. These Gucci wallets have to be on the streets of Hong Kong by Friday.
Lisa: [in her letter home from camp] Dear Mom and Dad: I no longer fear Hell, because I've been to Kamp Krusty
• Vote for this Quote! • July 16th, 2007