The Simpsons Quotes (Page 92)
Marge: Homer, do you remember your promise to the children?
Homer: Sure do! When you're 18 you're out the door!
Lisa: You're serving us gruel?
Dolph: Not quite! This is "Krusty-Brand Imitation Gruel." Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
Martin's father: We'll see you when you get back from Image Enhancement Camp!
Martin: Spare me your euphemisms! It's fat camp for daddy's chubby little secret!
Martin's father: You promised you wouldn't make a scene!
Lisa: Before I go to camp, I'll need boosters for malaria, German measles, encephalitis, Hansen's disease...
Dr. Hibbert: Oh, now I'm afraid what we have here is an advanced case of hypochondria. There's only one known cure, a wowwipop. [laughs]
Lisa: Don't patronize me, doctor.
Marge: Lisa, watch out for poison ivy! Remember, leaves of three, let it be!
Homer: Leaves of four, eat some more!
Homer: I can't believe we spent $2,000 on this when right now rollers could be kneading my buttocks.
Herb: Homer, will you stop thinking about your ass?!
Homer: I want to but I can't...
Lisa: Why didn't you write, Unckie Herb?
Herb: Hey, if I wrote to you, what was I supposed to say? "Dear Lisa, last night I used a rat for a pillow, thanks to your pop"?
Lisa: I see your point.
Herb: Every word you say makes me want to punch you in the face!
Homer: Well, while you're a guest in my home, could you just try to kick me in the butt?
Herb: I'll try, but I'm not making any promises.
[About the Spinemelter 2000, a shaking chair.]
Homer: There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends. I think this chair is the answer.
Marge: Homer, I cannot let you waste our new-found fortune on some creature comfort.
Homer: All right, we won't get the chair! Now excuse me while I kiss the sky! [rides the chair at full force]
Principal Skinner: Now It's never easy to come to a new school so let’s make her feel right at home. Please say a big Elementary school hello to Samantha Stinky!
Samantha: Stanky.
Skinner: Oh. Right... how embarrassing for you.