Weeds Quotes (Page 4)
Nancy: This is my business. This has nothing to do with you. Go downstairs, do what you do best. Patrol the couch in your underwear.
Andy: Look, this is different. This is my moment. I was born to cook drugs.
Andy: Yeah, I cook, you sell. Come on, Nanc. I don’t mind you being out there in front, I’m totally liberated. It’s me and you, babe, Team Botwin.
Nancy: Please leave.
Andy: I will, just as soon as you sign these papers. There’s no water in this tub!
Nancy: I can’t do this right now.
Andy: You have to. Doug says if you don’t hurry, they’re gonna put a vitamin store in there. And this town does not need more gingko biloba. It needs pot brownies. Come on, sign.
Heylia: Shit, white folks get soda pop, niggas get bullets.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007 Heylia: Hey! Hey! Stop all that damn arguing, this is a house of peace. (interrupted by gunshots) Everybody all right?
Vaneeta: Yeah.
Conrad: This is for you, Snowflake. This my special blend, I call this here Clark Kent. Just sniff this, right here. It’s good, huh?! You smoke this s**t and you just wanna rip your clothes off in a phone booth and fight crime. I’m serious!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007 Andy: Runway?
Doug: You know, that piece of skin that runs between your asshole and your balls, or asshole and vagina - that’s called a runway.
Andy: That’s called a taint, taint ass, taint equipment.
Doug: What the hell’s that mean? No, I think runway’s much more visually descriptive.
Andy: It’s a taint.
Doug: Runway.
Andy: Taint.
Doug: Runway!
Andy: Hey, Lupita, settle an argument for us. What do you call the thing between a d**k and an asshole?
Lupita: The coffee table.
Celia: High on Ludes. Queen of the Roller Disco. I could f**k against a wall with my skates on, no easy feat.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007 Andy: Hey, Doug.
Doug: Hey, Randy.
Andy: Andy, it’s Andy.
Doug: Oh really? I thought... It’s not Randy?
Andy: (shakes his head)
Doug: I’ve always thought of you as a Randy.
Andy: Pretty sure.
Doug: Hmm, wow. Okay.
Shane: I just wanna fit in. Can I go now?
Guidance Counselor: Shane, you’re here... because there’s some concern that you might act on these emotions.
Shane: I’m not gonna cap any motherf**kers.
Guidance Counselor: How do I know that?
Shane: ‘Cause my therapist says I’m just acting out because my dad’s dead.
Guidance Counselor: You may go.
Guidance Counselor: (reading Shane’s poetry-rap) My name is Shane / I bring the pain / Up from the streets of Agrestic / Bitch, you don’t wanna sweat this / I cap any motherf**ker / You don’t wanna test this / Be-
Shane: “Bee-yotch!” I got rage in me. This is my way of venting.
