Weeds Quotes (Page 6)
Heylia: Oh hell no, you don’t put weed in my cornbread!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007Celia: I haven’t s**t in three days. I’m like an African famine baby.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007 Nancy: Shane, did you shoot the Elderman’s cat?
Shane: What! No! I shot the mountain lion. Right in the eye.
Nancy: Why?
Shane: Because that’s what Dad would’ve done.
Lupita: Doesn’t smell like sage.
Nancy: Obviously menopause has affected your sense of smell.
Lupita: I don’t smell with my coochie.
Celia: Have you ever had sex with a woman?
Nancy: None of your business.
Celia: Oh come on, tell me.
Nancy: Okay, I slept with a woman in college.
Celia: How was it?
Nancy: Boring.
Celia: Well, maybe you didn’t do it right.
Nancy: She said I was the best she’d ever had.
Celia: What are you doing Friday night?
Celia: You know, I read somewhere that killing small animals is the first sign of psychotic behavior. You should really tell the parents, they can rush that little sociopath into therapy before he starts tooling around Agrestic in a white van with blacked out windows.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007 Celia: I’m sick of men. Maybe I missed my calling. I mean, what if I was supposed to be a dyke, but just made a wrong turn by mistake. It would explain a hell of a lot. Here’s the thing, I really wanna f**k around on Dean, but the thought of having to put one more c**k in my mouth is just too depressing.
Nancy: I’m not sure a vagina would be any kind of improvement for you.
Celia: Maybe you’re right. The truth is, p***y really skeeves me out. That whole mirror investigation thing we did when we were young, truly a rude awakening.
Nancy: (reads flier) "What to do if you meet a mountain lion. Give the mountain lion some room. Don’t make eye contact. Talk to the lion softly..." Are you sure this isn’t what to do if you want to date a mountain lion? Well, I have a lot to do, Celia, so...
Celia: Have you ever had sex with a woman?
Nancy: Excuse me?
Celia: I think I’d like to try it.
Celia: You really should lock your front door.
Nancy: I do lock it. But Lupita leaves it open so she doesn’t have to dig for her keys. Drives me insane.
Celia: Subtle revenge for having to clean our toilets.
Nancy: I still say we got the better end of that deal.
Doug: Hey, any more Steven Hawking? I wanna be wheeled out of here.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007