Weeds Quotes (Page 7)
Doug: See this Lollipop?
Nancy: It isn’t...
Doug: Yes, I’m getting high right now and you can’t even tell.
Doug: (on phone) Hey listen, I’ve got somebody here... we’ll finish this up at the next counsel meeting. Your turn to bring the vodka. Okay, you too. Yes, yes, I f**ked your wife. Yes, I f**ked your mother. Okay, bye.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007Doug: Oh, it’s a weed wonderland, Nancy. Like Amsterdam, only better, because you don’t have to visit the Anne Frank house and pretend to be all sad and stuff.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007 Celia: Hey Nancy! Where’s your... where’s your ring?
Nancy: My ring?
Celia: Yeah, your pretty little diamond ring.
Nancy: It’s in the shop.
Celia: Oh, well, I hope they can fix it.
Nancy: Yes, me too, Celia. Thanks!
Celia: He always did excellent work down there… Piece of s**t.
Tennis Pro: Is that what you think? He’s s**t?
Celia: You know, when you stop being cute and clean and funny at home and start spending afternoons with your head buried in the snatch of the tennis pro. Yeah, you’re a piece of s**t.
Tennis Pro: We need to go somewhere where we can get very, very drunk.
Celia: I’m a mean drunk. Let’s go.
Nancy: What do you do if somebody actually calls to get his house cleaned?
Heylia: Then I refer ‘em to my cousin Zondra, who cleans for real. She don’t make s**t, but Zondra found the Lord so she don’t care.
Heylia: Now, I know you got troubles, but like my momma always said, “Tough s**t.”
• Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007 Mr. Norman: (leans toward Nancy accusingly) I know what you did. I know you stole that goat. Goat thief!
Nurse: Mr. Norman, step back into your line.
Mr. Norman: (towards Nancy) It’s the economy stupid. But that goat didn’t belong to you, it was a free goat.
Shane: (from other side) Mom, it really hurts. It’s throbbing.
Mr. Norman: (whiny) ‘It’s throbbing, Mom.’
Nancy: Back off, nutty!
Mr. Norman: (turns away, turns back, leans down towards Shane, whining and mocking) Ah, cry baby, wha, wha.
Nancy: I’m gonna take your free goat and shove it straight up your ass.
Mr. Norman: (straightening up) What goat?
Silas: F**king perfect, the phone’s still dead.
Lupita: (smacks Silas) You don’t say f**king to your mother.
