Weeds Quotes (Page 8)

Doug Wilson

Celia: Jesus-Loves-You-Judy loves her hillbilly heroine.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007


Heylia: That’s it. Range Rover for stoney clover.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007


Nancy: All bun?
Conrad: No, uh… hot dog.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007


Heylia: [playing dominoes] Oh, you poor schmuck, you just played wrong. That’s a boat!
Nancy: Wait, a boat is when the four ends add up to 20?
Heylia: A boat is when I spank this boy’s black ass for thinking he all that with his three switchin’ bitches.
Nancy: Three switchin’ bitches?
Conrad: It’s 15. And a boat is 20. Stop f**kin’ with her, she’s just tryin’ to learn the game.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007


Silas: I am her family.
Celia: Ugh, God, poor thing. Do you really think that my daughter had deep romantic feelings for you? Is that what you think? Now I’m sure that you were a fun and sweaty diversion for her, but the truth is Quinn had a day and a half to get all of her ducks in a row before going to Mexico and she didn’t call you. She didn’t write or IM or e-mail you either, did she? But I’ll tell you what she did do, she downloaded 2,000 songs into her iPod and dyed her hair pink with black on the tips. Because all that Quinn cares about is Quinn. She takes after her father that way…. Poor schmuck.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007



Silas: Tell me where she is!
Celia: Why? So you can fly down to Mexico and spring her from Casa Reforma?
Silas: I love her.
Celia: You stuck your penis in her. That’s not love, believe me.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007


Shane: Do you think I’m weird?
Judah: Totally weird, but you’re awesome. Αnd I wouldn’t trade you in for any other almost-10-year-old on earth.
Shane: What if there’s life on other planets and there’s an unbelievable, amazing 10-year old out there?
Judah: Why would I trade now? To me, you’re the best dude, you are the amazing unbelievable Shane Botwin.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007


Shane: I think pink’s really your color, you f**kwad!

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007


Shane: Actually, you should alternate cold and hot every 20 minutes.
Devon Rensler: Don’t even talk to me, weirdo.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007


Shane Botwin: Can we go home now, please?
Nancy: It’s not even halftime.
Shane: I don’t feel well. I think I have rickets.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007


« Previous
Next »
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Total Quotes: 88